Read this if you're suddenly unsure of the "career" you chose in life
Ever since I was a kid I always dreamt of working in the hospital. It started off when I told my parents that I wanted to become a nurse, actually at that time I can't imagine being anyone else except becoming one, I'm not sure if I really understood what being a nurse really is, knowing the type of kid I was, but I was so sure that I'd like to become one.
On the following years, as I grew older, news about nurses being unemployed in our country grew rampant and from then on I decided that I should quit thinking becoming one because it's not just all about what I want, it's also about how I would make myself grow and I just don't see that keeping my nose about this ambition of mine would do any good for me; but then that doesn't mean I quit dreaming on being on the medical field. In fact my hunger for it grew even louder, I think I thought for sure that being on the medical side is what's really meant for me.
I decided to become a doctor. (Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not yet a doctor and I'm not yet studying medicine) For that to happen I need to take a pre-med course and I decided to choose medical technology over biology as a premed, why? it should be obvious, if in case I lose heart and get tired of studying I can work in the lab. Biology's pretty decent, and is a good choice too but it gave off some you-need-to-proceed-to-med aura to me.
After years of slacking off and studying I'm now a MedTech Intern. To be honest I'm quite the indoor girl type but I would definitely try to communicate with others when "need". I don't give off much impression and nor did I want to. I hate being the center of the attention and I don't mind if people don't remember my name at all. It all comes down to "it can't be helped" and that I only need to stay with them for 6-months time at the very least. I only have a couple of people I talk to but that doesn't mean I'm really close to them; it's more like work has bonded us together rather than the normal way like, our "hobbies" did. I do have people on which I have the same "likes" but there are only a few of them, I talk to them most of the times but I don't see how we can talk to each other aside from the base of our work and when we're talking about our activities. In short, I never really found some "friend" material in that place. Maybe because we're working with each other temporarily and enjoying or hating it depends on us but the thing is, I can't really find something to enjoy about it.
This may be a factor but it can't be helped now because this is the career that I chose, I usually follow the normal hours of sleep for my age, may it be studying, I sleep whenever I think that it's already the right time to sleep and if that would complete the normal hours that I should. One thing about working in a hospital is that you have night duties, it's fine to me. Honest. I could at least understand that working for extended periods of time is a norm in the medical field and that I understood that I only started to hate night duties when I have to be on a 24 hour duty on my first day, right, off the bat. and then all of my night duties on my first month ended up to 24 hour duties. Normally 24 hour duties are only followed when you have a night duty scheduled during week ends but in my case I need to go to the hospital early and when the activity ended up early too I need to choose to stay because, I'm far from home, and I'd rather save the money than to make more effort, spend it, and get tired by making it back and forth. I always started to have the feeling of hate and wanting to go home whenever I step in to the lab. After than awful month my schedule had gotten quite normal and my night duties turned normal as it was already 16-hour rather than 24-hours for they were scheduled on weekdays, however 24-hour duties still exist for me, but I started to like it too because I became quite busy. I thought I started liking the people I work with but I realized that I started to like doing more so that I could take all my time without knowing that the night is already over. I'm a home buddy and I love going home, maybe that's why I want things to be fast and get over everything and be home.
Over the tough days and busy hours in the hospital, my time offs and the hours I spent sitting whenever there's no work get me hooked up with the feeling of wanting to be home. I think it's normal because I'm tired and that this was just the start but I started then to hate the career I chose. One time I even cried at home, I think that was around the time when I spent most of my night duties in twenty fours. It was like the world has been and will be sucking up to me more and before I know it. I'm not a girl anymore. I'm an adult who has to stand for what I thought was the right thing to do and now's the time to take the responsibility.
Prayers were my only gears. I'm not here to promote my religion or anything. I'm here to state the fact that NO MATTER HOW SCARED YOU ARE, prayers will make you feel a lot better than your friends comforting words. Remember you are making decisions that will dictate how you'll live your life. It may be difficult, it may be a rocky road but remember, everybody's got their own path. It may be different but it was all a hard track. Faith and trust will make you stronger. It will make you step forward even if you feel like running back to your comfort zone. God knows, what it is to do with your life. Entrust your life to Him. He knows what is best for us, for He knows our strengths and weakness and the things we'd excel at. He is our maker. Believe in Him then believe in yourself. That's the key.
On the following years, as I grew older, news about nurses being unemployed in our country grew rampant and from then on I decided that I should quit thinking becoming one because it's not just all about what I want, it's also about how I would make myself grow and I just don't see that keeping my nose about this ambition of mine would do any good for me; but then that doesn't mean I quit dreaming on being on the medical field. In fact my hunger for it grew even louder, I think I thought for sure that being on the medical side is what's really meant for me.I decided to become a doctor. (Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not yet a doctor and I'm not yet studying medicine) For that to happen I need to take a pre-med course and I decided to choose medical technology over biology as a premed, why? it should be obvious, if in case I lose heart and get tired of studying I can work in the lab. Biology's pretty decent, and is a good choice too but it gave off some you-need-to-proceed-to-med aura to me.
After years of slacking off and studying I'm now a MedTech Intern. To be honest I'm quite the indoor girl type but I would definitely try to communicate with others when "need". I don't give off much impression and nor did I want to. I hate being the center of the attention and I don't mind if people don't remember my name at all. It all comes down to "it can't be helped" and that I only need to stay with them for 6-months time at the very least. I only have a couple of people I talk to but that doesn't mean I'm really close to them; it's more like work has bonded us together rather than the normal way like, our "hobbies" did. I do have people on which I have the same "likes" but there are only a few of them, I talk to them most of the times but I don't see how we can talk to each other aside from the base of our work and when we're talking about our activities. In short, I never really found some "friend" material in that place. Maybe because we're working with each other temporarily and enjoying or hating it depends on us but the thing is, I can't really find something to enjoy about it.
This may be a factor but it can't be helped now because this is the career that I chose, I usually follow the normal hours of sleep for my age, may it be studying, I sleep whenever I think that it's already the right time to sleep and if that would complete the normal hours that I should. One thing about working in a hospital is that you have night duties, it's fine to me. Honest. I could at least understand that working for extended periods of time is a norm in the medical field and that I understood that I only started to hate night duties when I have to be on a 24 hour duty on my first day, right, off the bat. and then all of my night duties on my first month ended up to 24 hour duties. Normally 24 hour duties are only followed when you have a night duty scheduled during week ends but in my case I need to go to the hospital early and when the activity ended up early too I need to choose to stay because, I'm far from home, and I'd rather save the money than to make more effort, spend it, and get tired by making it back and forth. I always started to have the feeling of hate and wanting to go home whenever I step in to the lab. After than awful month my schedule had gotten quite normal and my night duties turned normal as it was already 16-hour rather than 24-hours for they were scheduled on weekdays, however 24-hour duties still exist for me, but I started to like it too because I became quite busy. I thought I started liking the people I work with but I realized that I started to like doing more so that I could take all my time without knowing that the night is already over. I'm a home buddy and I love going home, maybe that's why I want things to be fast and get over everything and be home.Over the tough days and busy hours in the hospital, my time offs and the hours I spent sitting whenever there's no work get me hooked up with the feeling of wanting to be home. I think it's normal because I'm tired and that this was just the start but I started then to hate the career I chose. One time I even cried at home, I think that was around the time when I spent most of my night duties in twenty fours. It was like the world has been and will be sucking up to me more and before I know it. I'm not a girl anymore. I'm an adult who has to stand for what I thought was the right thing to do and now's the time to take the responsibility.
Prayers were my only gears. I'm not here to promote my religion or anything. I'm here to state the fact that NO MATTER HOW SCARED YOU ARE, prayers will make you feel a lot better than your friends comforting words. Remember you are making decisions that will dictate how you'll live your life. It may be difficult, it may be a rocky road but remember, everybody's got their own path. It may be different but it was all a hard track. Faith and trust will make you stronger. It will make you step forward even if you feel like running back to your comfort zone. God knows, what it is to do with your life. Entrust your life to Him. He knows what is best for us, for He knows our strengths and weakness and the things we'd excel at. He is our maker. Believe in Him then believe in yourself. That's the key.
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